Attack of the stinky kind

*warning: this post contains overuse of curse words and exclamation points*
FUCK!




Oh, you want to know what's in the bag?
Let me introduce you to our new roommates.
Some of them are nice and cozy in this bag. Soon they will suffocate and DIE and this makes me VERY HAPPY.
I can be heard yelling, "die fuckers!" "I hate you, god damn Chinese invaders!" "Any one found crawling on my children will be drowned in a jar of rubbing alcohol!"
Tired of guessing?
fucking STINK fucking BUGS! FuckGoddamnyouHolyHell!

This prehistoric gift from China is invading our bedroom. You know, the room where we spend 6-8 hours semi nude, asleep with our mouths open. Oh, and the baby.
I am fully convinced that she will awake from a nap, see one crawling on the bed and think "this must be a delicacy somewhere, eh, let me see here" then with her new found, swift pincer grasp pops one in her mouth. Gahh, I am getting sweaty thinking of it. Would she spit it out, stinky smell = yucky taste. Could she be poisoned? They bite! THEY FUCKING BITE!!
I flushed 7 or 8 down the toilet last night. Another 5 this morning. Then came afternoon nap time. There was a party on our air conditioner, behind the radiator, flying around the room, crawling on the window shade they all stopped and looked at me when I walked in the room. They seamed to be sizing me up. I decided not to waste any more water on these fuckers! I gently plucked them one by one with a kleenex and placed them in the bag of death. I then put bag of death filled with no less than 10 fucking stink assshitholedumbstupid bugs in the hot trash bin outside.

Wait, I didn't tell you. They are called STINK fucking BUGS because when squashed they FUCKING STINK and apparently this fucking stink is a call to all the other fucking stink ass shitty fucking bugs like "It's warm in here, come in here!" or "AVENGE MY DEATH! THE KIDS ARE THEIR WEAKNESS!"


Any advice on permanent fucking removal?

UPDATE: As of tonight the space we think they are entering has been blocked with foam. Take that fucking fuckers, the bugs not you!! (How's that Jessica?) There have been a few stragglers but no new bugs! Dare I say we won this battle?